Thursday Thoughts- Time Out

Thursday Thoughts

This is where we will collaborate on classroom issues.

“I have a child who does not stay in time out.  I get so tired of chasing him down.  What can I do” –Olivia C., Roanoke

Let’s first look at how time-out is being used.  While there are many variations on time-out I prescribe to Positive Discipline techniques.  Through that lens time-out should be a positive, preventative tool.  The downfall in using time-out in a punitive manner is that we are not providing the child with an alternative behavior.  Children often misbehave because they do not have the inner tools required for a more appropriate alternative behavior.  It is our jobs to show them those alternatives. 

Using time-out in a positive manner is unfamiliar for many of us.  What would that look like?  The physical appearance of a time out center should be pleasant.  You want to make it look inviting and relaxing.  I recommend adding soft toys to cuddle, pillows (please check your state’s and center’s regulations on pillows first), and books. Pictures of your families are important here.  You can add them in a book, or even better you can display them on the wall. If you can, try to make it feel cozier by adding draped fabric (many localities require that these are sprayed with flame retardant first). 

 

Now that you have it physically set up how do you get a child to use it?  At two, three, four, or even five years old they do not have the abstract thought needed to understand what you mean when you say “Go to the quiet center when you feel upset.”  I always begin the year by modeling what the use of the quiet center would look like.  I would have my assistant knock over my coffee and I would respond by throwing a typical fit (yelling, stomping, crying and all!).  I would then fling myself into the quiet center. 

Once there I would show the children that I was calming down by talking through all my actions. I would make my breathing loud enough that the children could hear it getting slower.  I talk about hugging the stuffed animals to feel better.  I tell them that looking at the pictures make me feel happy.

Initially I will have to tell them I can see that they are upset and need to go to the quiet center to calm down.  Eventually they go there on their own.  Remember that the purpose of this area is to simply get them back into a calm state so that we can work on what made them upset, whether they were aggressive or just emotional.

Continue the dialogue in the comments!  Have your own question?  Let me know and we can synergize on solutions.